Sunday, December 11, 2016

The ER (Without George Clooney)

MBG and I arrived to the ER around 6:30 pm. As she continued to ask where we were going and when we were going home, I failed to hold back the fountain of tears. Walking through the doors and immediately to the front desk, the nurse took one look at the diagnosis and BG levels, looked at the other nurse and said, "Oh no, that's not good at all." Now, not only was I angry with God, the doctor and my husband, but it took all I had not to bring complete disgrace to the ER nurse and myself.

Within ten minutes from that moment, they had MBG prepped and ready to start a lifetime of insulin doses. Between starting an IV, taking blood, urine tests and a swift introduction to insulin, my anger continued and found no limits. We spent hours in a dim lit ER room, then at 30 minutes past midnight, they moved MBG to ICU.

The following days were spent trying to raise our heads above the fog we had found ourselves in. MBG spent two days in ICU followed by three days in a room on the diabetic floor. During that time, we met with numerous nurses, administration staff and doctors of all sorts. We watched 'Welcome to Diabetes' videos, read educational books (packed with more information than one mind can hold), took multiple choice tests to ensure we were 'somewhat' prepared to leave the care of the hospital, cried...(bawled, actually), researched the diagnosis, cried, asked a million questions, learned how to take blood glucose levels (every 2 hours), count carbs, determine insulin doses...and cried some more. I don't think an hour of sleep was had by a single one the entire week. We were scared to leave the hospital, yet anxious to be home.

Towards the end of the week, in additional preparation for self-care and as a 'newly diagnosed' T1D individual/family, we received a 'Bag of Hope' on behalf of JDRF (Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation). At the time I was too angry to appreciate the bag and its contents, however, it truly does become a 'go-to' resource. The bag was filled with educational materials, carb counting material, links to informational videos, a diabetic reading book for your child, glucose monitor and, last but not least, Rufus - the Bear with diabetes - whose purpose is to show your child that she is not alone while learning to take shots and test blood sugar. Admittingly, due to my anger of MBG's diagnosis, I tossed Rufus in the trash the moment we arrived home as I wanted nothing to remind me of this time in our life. However, looking back, Rufus could have quite possibly been the only one that MBG found an ounce of connection with during her hospital stay as she 'gave him his insulin shots and tested his blood sugar levels'.

At the end of the week, MBG was released from the hospital and we made our way our new home and our new way of life (did I mention that we were moving into a new home the day that MBG was admitted to the hospital?) We walked through the door holding a stack of T1D literature while navigating a maze of brown, unpacked boxes...once again, I cried at (all) the road ahead. It has been over one year since that day and we have experienced our share of highs and lows - both emotionally and blood sugar-wise. We made the move from four+ individual shots a day to the Omnipod pump. We still check her blood sugar every two hours through the day and the night. I have become an active member of our local JDRF Chapter and heavily involved in fundraising. I also, finally, went to God on my knees asking for forgiveness of my anger and begging for guidance. Our family prays daily for a cure while also proclaiming and praying vigorously that God, our Mighty Physician, will lay his healing hands on MBG's pancreas and heal her...throwing diabetes to the depths of the ocean, as far as the east is to the west, where it can never touch MBG and our family again. I truly believe that He can!

"O LORD my God, I cried to you for help, and you restored my [MBG's] health." - Psalm 30:2

(If you have a child who was recently diagnosed with T1D and was not given a Bag of Hope prior to leaving the hospital, you can visit Type One Nation and complete the online form to have one sent directly to your home.)

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